I've been looking forward to having my kids since as long as I could stand on two feet. I think the biggest difference between how I thought pregnancy might be, and how it really is, is that I don't have this change of mental awareness. I don't live each day thinking "Oh, I'm pregnant Lisa now." In fact it took me quite a while to even get to the point of believing I was pregnant 100% of the time. I would have these moments where it was like, OK I've seen the ultrasound, I've heard the heartbeat, I've been horribly sick, I have the stick I peed on, ect... but am I really pregnant?!? I didn't feel pregnant. Maybe it was feeling the baby move that made it more real, and I feel the baby move quite regularly now. Maybe this is how it is for a lot of women... maybe not, but that's how it is/was for me.

When I was younger I thought as soon as I found I was pregnant my life would suddenly change; I would instantly go into "Mom mode". I would be so overjoyed and smiley, I would be a better person, a happier person. It didn't quite work that way, and I'm OK with it now, but it was a little bit of a slap in the face originally, well it was a slap in my whole body if we're factoring circumstance and whatnot... but it's OK. I don't enjoy pregnancy, but it isn't the pregnancy that I've been looking forward to, it's the child that comes at the end. And while we're on that, I think I'll like having a child with a personality more so that having a 'cutesy wootsy squishy drooly baby'. But that's just me  ;)