the MAEily daily

NaBloPoMo :: day... ummm

I am not cut out for NaBloPoMo. I do not post regularly. I don't like it either. :P

Maybe if I already had an established blog posting regime but I don't. Fun while it lasted I suppose.

I intended to write about something but I suddenly have an annoying headache so... well I'm reading The Best Science Fiction and Fantasy of the Year volume one. I've never read much in either genre but I grabbed the book of the shelf as Matilda was running wild under foot. I guess to be accurate I'm not reading it yet, I'm going to go start now, but either way I'll let you know what I think.

I have yet to crochet a scarf for my long lost friend, the dishcloths for my neighbor, or anything else but I did manage to knit a mini puff daddy for Matilda (accidentally). Photos to follow. I had the wrong size needles, and only 1 strand of yarn when it calls for two. Trouble is that she's wears it then pulls on the puff to try and get it off, which only strangles her. Not quite age appropriate I think. I did learn that I can knit, it's pretty easy overall, but casting on sucks my spleen.

Unrelated: I've been thinking about my love of tiny houses and I don't think I could manage it with the babe. Not to mention what happens if you want someone to move in with you?! I this will just have to remain a torrid love affair from afar.

a tiny house reality

I make very little money in my current position. I was well aware of this going in, and I thought it would be a good experience to try living on barely enough to pay my bills. Barely. I haven't actually been doing that because on top of my nanny-treated-as-a-babysitter position I've also been cleaning my neighbor's house twice a week for extra $. I know blogging about work is a big no no but I'm self-employed, and unhappy about the situation so I don't see any big problems arising from it.

So here's how it works:

• I get paid aprox. $4.44/hr for childcare of 2 children. Yes, I am well aware that I am being trampled on financially here. This is an insanely small amount of money for what is expected of me. Even if you take out the 2.5 hrs each morning I sleep on the couch, I make $6.15/hr. 
• But, I get around $14-20/hr for cleaning depending on how efficiently I use my time.

This all amounts to me being insane. I know. (If I want an excuse I can blame pregnancy/nursing hormones cause I had just had a baby.... just being she was about 6mo. old when I quit to do all this.) And so back to the topic, I can't go anywhere doing what I'm doing. If I ever want to build my tiny home, have my not-so-tiny garden, and get out the funk I'm in I have to find a new job. I'm not sure if I should find another nanny position, one where I get paid reasonably. Or if I should go back to work work. Where ever the choice I need it to be close to home because I am so not happy about the $75/tank gas prices, or the fact that I bought a gas guzzler of a car right before prices sky rocketed, and before I did that I had been looking at getting a smart fortwo. Kicking myself in the pants as I type.

Ugh. So I just emailed someone about a Mother's Helper/Nanny position that pays very well and sounds like a great family. I feel crappy about leaving the family I'm with now but the pay isn't cutting it and I don't think they're a great influence but that's another bag of worms for another time. I guess I'll just apply to whatever I find that seems like a possible good fit, and sooner or later the right job will come along.

Or I could just follow my mother's advice and marry someone rich.

It all started with the wee house.

I used to love the wee houses; when I first saw them I fell smitten with them. I was young. I was impressionable. I didn't know that there was anything else out there... until I found the tumbleweeds. I really like the idea of minimalist type living. Only having what you need, only using what you need. Some people think it's a bit crazy, and compared to how I live now it is crazy, but at the same time it's beautiful. I would love to build this house (yes, myself) and pare down all that I own to fit in that space.

The part that actually is crazy isn't fitting my life in there, it's fitting in my daughter. Kids come with an insurmountable amount of stuff. Toys, clothes, diapers, sippys, binkies, blankets, shoes, books... oh my the books, hair clips, toothbrushes, little pink pottys, the list goes on. It might be crazy but it's all I dream of. When I was younger, and maybe some still to this day, even when my parents didn't have any money I still had pretty much what I wanted. I wasn't spoiled exactly, I was just well loved with gifts. And now because of the multitude of gifts as a child, when the gifts stop coming, or just not as many, I tend to feel a little disappointed. And I can't help it. I try to talk my self out of it; it's silly, stupid, rude, and still.... Anyways, point being is that I don't want that for Matilda. I like the idea of 1-2 nice gifts for birthdays and holidays, and a few little things in between. A small smattering of well loved and well played with toys. Just enough, high quality, clothes that we can go a week-weekandahalf without washing laundry. This is not happening.

We live with Nana. Nana is a gift giver, as was my Grandma, as am I. It's in our blood damnit. Little tiny gift gnomes floating along with the red blood cells, riding them like ponies until they see marketing at it's best... they're suckers for impulse items by the check out... them bam! Next thing you know you're the proud new owner of a skirt, a toy mouse, and kleenex with skulls on them. So Matilda has toys, plenty of toys. The clothes? Enough 12mo. sized clothes to outfit an ankle biting army. And now her 1st birthday is rolling around and I'm putting on the brakes before she's old enough to catch on. Her birthday invites will say something along the lines of "If you insist on purchasing a birthday gift Matilda would ask that you donate to 'insert charity here' on her behalf or view her wishlist at 'insert URL here'." and the wishlist will have just a few things on it like nice wooden blocks and puzzles, or books.

Is that rude of me? Do I care? Ok I care a little, but I don't want a bunch of crap. I don't want a bunch of plastic crap especially.